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Weird Frodo

Frodo Goes to the Pumpkin Patch
A Fanfiction by WaverlyHillsFan
Non Canonical-Based Story

One crisply cold day in October, Frodo decided it was time to go to the nearest pumpkin patch and buy a pumpkin. He was going to prepare for Halloween as much as he could. Gandalf, his current roommate, had sewed a toad costume for the hobbit.

"Hey, hey Gandalf!" screeched Frodo. "Let's go get a pumpkin!"

Gandalf's eyes closed. He never expressed it, but he despised that little hobbit. Over the years, Frodo had grown very demanding and obnoxious, often getting his way over Gandalf's.

Meanwhile, Gollum, who had become quite a good friend of Frodo's, was at the local Halloween store buying candy. The clerk was just a regular human, and he often questioned the odd clients that came into the store (particularly Frodo). Gollum had placed several bags of Three Musketeers on the counter, and the clerk, Jack, rung them up. Upon exiting the store, Gollum called Frodo with his cell phone. The message machine received the call.

"Hello? Frodo? Gandalf? Where Frodo? Me gots the candy." Gollum said, leaving his message.

Gollum sped home by running as quick as he could. He rushed to the answering machine, as it beeped saying it had new messages.

"YOU HAVE THREE NEW MESSAGES AND TWO OLD MESSAGES." the machine said in its computer generated voice.

One message was from the local plummer, the second was the one from Gollum, and the third one was Frodo calling from wherever he was.

"Hi Gollum, kinda sorta forgot to tell you that Gandalf and I were going to Aragorn's Fine Halloween and Pumpkin Patch today." the message announced.

Gollum rushed to the garage, mounted his motorcycle, and sped towards the pumpkin patch.

At the pumpkin patch, Frodo had 200,000 pumpkins picked out. Gandalf wanted to sue Frodo for this stupid ritual, but he knew he'd break the little hobbit's heart.

"C'mon, Gandalf, just 800,00 more, please!"

"Alright." Gandalf snarled through his clenched teeth. "But just this time. Next year, it's only 220, understand?"


Gollum arrived, clearly frustrated that he wasn't informed on the trip. His arms were crossed, and he yanked Gandalf's beard angrily.

"I just wanted a few pumpkins." explained Frodo.

"A few? Looks likes you has 1,000,000 pumkins."

"It's true."

"I was exaggerating."

"Actually, you weren't...there are literally 1,000,000 pumpkins."

They wheeled all of the pumpkins over on a massive cart. Aragorn's eyes nearly popped out of his head when he saw the large amount of pumpkins.

"How much will it kill, I mean, cost me?" asked Gandalf.



"Yup. We've got this deal that if you buy 1,000,000 pumpkins or more, you get 'em all for $2.50. Oddly, you are the first to take us up on that."

They paid for the large amount of squash, called in trucks, and took them to the Baggins house. Carving began, and the lit jack-o-lanterns surrounded the house. A letter arrived saying:

Hello, Frodo

I'm going to an untitled planet. It's filled with Orcs and such, and they surround a secret base. I fear that it'll be hard to contact you, so this is my final letter to you if I don't come back. Tell everyone you know to come and help.

- Legolas

"Sounds like Legolas is in trouble!" pronounced Frodo. "I need to sell some socks on eBay and email a few people."

Frodo's Search for Help
A Fanfiction by WaverlyHillsFan
Non Canonical-Based Story

Frodo, Gandalf, and Gollum stood around their house in utter shock. Was there really some kind of war on another planet?

"It's time to go on an adventure...of some kind..." exclaimed Frodo.
The phone rang violently. Gollum shuffled his way over to it, and picked up.
"Hello? Gollum speaking."
"This is Aragorn from Aragorn's Fine Halloween and Pumpkin Patch. Frodo forgot two of his pumpkins."
"I thinkin you should talks with da hobbitsy himself."
Gollum handed the phone over to Frodo.
"Helllllllllllllllllloooooooooooooooooooooooo! Frodo here!"
"You forgot two of your pumpkins at my pumpkin patch."
"Oh! Which ones!?"
"The two cute ones...the ones you named FooFoo-LaLa and Doodle-Face."
"Ok! Thanks for calling! BYE!"
Frodo slammed the phone down, looked over at Gandalf with a frustrated expression. He was clearly unhappy by the fact that 'FooFoo-LaLa' and 'Doodle-Face' were left behind at the pumpkin patch. The little hobbit's hands clenched the wizard's grey tunic.
"Looky left FOOFOO-LALA AND DOODLE-FACE BEHIND! GAHK! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT!?" Frodo screamed, ending with a grunt.
"Shut up, dude! I din't leave 'em behind; you did!" Gandalf snapped.
"I's do's it for you, Hobbitsy!" Gollum suggested.
While Gollum retrieved the pumpkins, Frodo worked on contacting people for help. The group of volunteers assembled in Frodo's room to discuss the plan.
"Alrighty, guys, Legolas said that he's going to an unknown planet to fight Orcs, since they're terrorizing the area. Basically, it's up to us to shave, I mean, save him."
"I happen to have a new Cyber-class bomber available." Aragorn informed.
"How'd you get that? Aren't those illegal?" asked Gimli.
"Where is it, Aragorn?" Frodo inquisited.
"It's out back. How'd you think I got here?"
The group went outside, and there was, in fact, a massive Cyber-class bomber with custom paint. It was adorned with paintings of pumpkins and skulls.
"I bought it with what I earned from my pumpkin patch."
Aragorn assigned everyone positions. He was to be pilot, Frodo was going to be the co-pilot, and the others took on various assignments. Gandalf, for instance, was going to be the gunner in case things took a hostile turn.
The flight was a safe and short one, as they soon landed on the humid and grass-covered planet. Orcs were in the distance, and buildings smoldered from their wrath.
"Wow...this place looks incredible!" exclaimed Gandalf.
"Yup." replied Aragorn. "I've been here before. Seen a lot of gun-slingin' action."
"Since when were you all rough-n'-tough?"
"Ever since I first came here."
Sam, Frodo's best friend, was beginning to get anxious with frustration of just standing around with chit-chat. He smacked Aragorn and Gandalf on the back of their heads.
"Sam, leave me alone, you jerk!" Gandalf rubbed his head.
"We're gonna get there eventually, you ding-dong tart-head!" Aragorn snapped.
The group marched through knee-high grass (for the Hobbits and Gimli, it was waist-high) to get to the large, wood citadel. The sound of voices could be heard coming from each of the stories of the structure.
"Hey, I hear Legolas!" stated Shelob.
They quickly scaled the stairs, only to find Legolas sitting at a table, legs on top and folded, with an ice cold glass of orange-flavored soda.
"Come on over, fellas. Take a seat...any seat." the elf pronounced.
"I thought you said that you were in an urgent situation?"
"I was until about five hours ago...I'm going back to fighting in about an hour. We start officially tomorrow. Go ahead and get some rest...there are cabins everywhere.


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