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Collisions (Printer-Friendly Version)

 

Note: Before you print, this is not the complete version!

 

Collisions

A Fanfiction by WaverlyHillsFan

Non Canonical-Based Story
 
Contents:
  1. Chapter 1 - Baby Jane and Blanche Meet the Mist
  2. Chapter 2 - Arsenic and Old Mist
  3. Chapter 3 - The Wasp Woman Gets Stung
  4. Chapter 4 - Velvet Gets Vaporized
  5. Chapter 5 - Unity
  6. Chapter 6 - So Why'd We Come Here, Again?

Chapter 1:
Baby Jane and Blanche Meet the Mist

Hollywood, California...1960
Baby Jane Hudson was busy doing the dishes, mumbling about how she despised Blanche under her breath. That constant buzzing of Blanche's service bell was driving her nuts; she was ready to disable it. Ever since the accident involving a car crash, Blanche, her sister, had been crippled, and required the care of Jane, a former vaudevillian. The telephone rang, and Jane shuffled over to answer it. She was almost always drunk and flumpy.

"Hello..." she slurred. "Who's this?"

"It's your neighbor, Mrs. Bates."

"And what do you want?"

"I just called to let you know you left your headlights on."

"Fine."

Jane slammed down the receiver, stumbled outside, and turned off the headlights. She accidentaly leaned on the horn, but was to drunk to react quickly. The loud noise ripped through the neighborhood.

Upon returning inside the house, Blanche's buzzer went off, forcing Jane to stumble up the stairs and see what her sister was buzzing about.

"What is it, Blanche?"

"Who was that on the phone!?"

"That nosey neighbor, Mrs. Bates."

"What did she want?"

"That's none of your business."

Out of the corner of Jane's eye, a strange mist appeared.

"What's that mist, Blanche?"

"I think it's time you see the doctor. You're drunk again, Jane."

"Just shut up and look."

To her surprise, Blanche actually saw the mist in the corner. It was growing larger and large, swirling in a vortex formation. Pretty soon it consumed half of the room. Jane began to cough.

A noise that sounded like the atmosphere cracking ripped through the room, and within a matter of seconds, Blanche and Jane were transported into the middle of a dark chamber with no sense of where they were. There were other people there, each wearing clothes of different eras.

"Blanche...are you seeing this? Or am I just very, very drunk..?"

"Yes...I'm seeing it."
Chapter 2:
Arsenic and Old Mist
Mortimer and Elaine Brewster were at their home enjoying coffee. Recently, Mortimer's step-brother, Teddy, and 'aunts' had been admitted into the Happydale Sanitarium. Aunt Abby and Aunt Martha, who had adopted Mortimer, were notorious for killing people with poisoned wine.
Teddy, on the other hand, thought he was Teddy Roosevelt. Many of the neighbors found his contant "CHARGE!" and bugle playing to be annoying.
Then there was Jonathan, Mortimer's other step-brother, who was also a killer. He and Dr. Einstein travelled around a lot, as Jonathan wanted surgery to change his face after any crime where he may have been witnessed. Despite this, his new face began to get him confused with Boris Karloff, as Dr. Einstein was tired when he operated on his patient.
But all that was history now. Elaine and Mortimer were married and living away from those loonies.
"Ah, sure is nice getting away from those crazies."
"But Mortimer, that's your family!"
"My adopted family, Elaine."
"What about Teddy?"
"Even him."
All of the sudden, a huge atmospheric crack ripped through the house, a near deafining sound. Large swirls of mist emerged from their cups of coffee, consuming them into a dark room filled with other people.
Chapter 3:
The Wasp Woman Gets Stung

Janice Starlin, aka the Wasp Woman, had just recently recovered from what was thought to be her death. She had, in fact, survived...but she was injured. The Wasp Woman was still a woman by day and a wasp by night, killing her fictims in an uncontrollable rage.

For a long time, Janice had owned a cosmetics company, but sales were dropping ever since she started aging. That's when things went wrong - she had tried using the enzymes of a wasp to make her look younger...but instead she turned into a wasp.

Now, things were under control. She was on medication to help keep things under control. On her way to the lab, she noticed that a new lab technician, James Freidly, was experimenting with some kind of anti-aging serum.

"Hello, James."

"Oh, hi, Janice."

"What is that?"

"I'm working on a new anti-aging medication. You know, one to replace that last one that went bad."

"I'm willing to try it."

"But Janice...don't you even worry that something bad might happen!?"

"Shut your mouth and give it to me. If I can survive being a wasp, I can survive anything."

"If that's what you wanna believe..."

James gave her all of the fluid in the syringe. Slowly, Janice shed years right off, looking years younger. However, she started to shrink. Eventually, she was completely gone - warped into another area. Things were getting serious.

Chapter 4:
Velvet Gets Vaporized

It was just a week ago now that Velvet had run the Grand National. Mi had decided to return, as many of the other houses that he visited weren't nearly as nice as the Brown home. Many horse owners had offered Velvet a lot of money to ride their horses in races, but she said 'no' to all of them. She only wanted to ride the Pie for herself and her family, not someone else's horse.

Movie directors were really getting on her nerves, too. They all wanted to swoop up the chance to have a movie about a young girl who had won the Grand National, excluding all the technicalities in the rules.

"Mi!?" called out Velvet.

"What is it, Velvet!?" he returned.

"Come here! There's some kind of green mist in the corner!"

"Mist? What are you talking about...oh, wow..." he said, soon realizing that there was actually mist in the corner of the stables.

Mi stuck his hand in the mist, but when he pulled his arm back, his hand turned to water and was sucked into the mist.

"WHAT'S HAPPENING, MI!?" Velvet cried.

"I don't know! My hand just vaporized!"

Velvet then stuck her foot into the mist. It, too, turned to water and went towards the mist as if it were magnetised to it. The signature loud atmospheric cracking was heard, and the whole town of Sewels was eaten by the mist. During the travel to the dark room, everyone was vaporized, but reformed upon landing. What was going on!?

Chapter 5:
Unity

The dark room was almost entirely silent, with exception of the occasional atmospheric crack that let others in. Jane and Blanche were still trying to figure things out. Jane was clearly tired, her eyes going from half open to shut, half open to shut on and on. The silhouette of a man with what appeared to be a man was cast onto the wall adjacent to Blanche.

He came closer and closer, walking in what sounded to be heel to toe. Eventually, his face came into clear site. It was Dr. Robert Morgan, who was supposedly the last man on Earth (not now, anyways...prior to when he got warped).

"Where's Virg?" he asked in his deep sort of voice.

"Say whoosa whatsa?" asked Blanche.

"My wife, Virginia. I call her Virg. I was hoping that through this whole teleportation thing that I'd find her. I guess not."

"What happened to her?"

"She died of a virus."

"Oh."

Meanwhile, in another corner, Mortimer Brewster and his wife, Elaine, were confused as to what happened. Judy Foster, who had lived in Santa Barbara, California, was also in that corner. Velvet and Mi had also crash-landed there.

It seemed that Judy Foster had collided with Mi upon landing after being sucked through the vortex. She was hurt a little, but not bad.

She looked at her best friends, Ogie and Carol Pringle. Ogie was quiet. He didn't want to talk about what had just happened - probably just hoping it was just a bad dream.

"What the heck!? Look at that girl!" exclaimed Judy, pointing at Velvet.

Carol was in shock at Velvet. She approached her, mouth agape. It looked as if she had seen some kind of ghost.

"You look so familiar...do I know you!?"

"Nope."

"Are you sure!?"

"Yes...but you do look extremely familiar."

An atmospheric crack, as usual, ripped through the room. This time, the entire Von Trapp family came falling through the dark hole.

"...sixteen going on seventeen...WHAT THE..." cried Liesl.

It seemed as though the teleportation was relatively quick, as the Von Trapp family was caught in the middle of song...as usual. Maria, for whatever reason, had a machine gun in her hands, probably stolen from a Nazi officer.

"AGAINST THE WALL WITH YOUR HANDS UP!" she shouted.

Everyone did as ordered. What had happened since they left Austria? Bad Swiss cheese? Too much time spinning in the mountains? Altitude sickness? Whatever it was, Maria had gone entirely crazy. A "loony tune" quote Kurt.

Ogie interfered with Maria, grabbing her shoulder tightly. He had a frown on his face.

"What's wrong with you, woman!?" he snapped.

"YOU GIVE YOUR COMMANDING OFFICER A COOKIE!" she barked back.

Liesl was busy tending to her father, who seemed to have suffered from a concussion.

"MEDIC!" called out Maria.

Dr. Einstein came forward. He had known Mortimer Brewster and his brother, Jonathan, quite well.

"I'm a doctor."

"GET OVER HERE! YOU DON'T TALK BACK TO YOUR SUPERIORS!"

The doctor had dealt with a lot of crazies...mainly Teddy Brewster, who thought he was Teddy Roosevelt.

Pretty soon, this attracted the attention of everyone in the room. Janice Starlin came over to take a look.

"He doesn't look so good." said Robert.

"He broke his nose!" commented Blanche.

"The guy had a concussion!" screamed Judy.

"Will he be alright?" asked Velvet.

"SHUT UP AND LET THE DOCTOR DO HIS BUSINESS!" responded Dr. Einstein.

"YOU HEARD THE MAN! GET AWAY! TWENTY PUSH UPS EACH OF YOU! I MEAN IT! GO! GO! GO! WE'RE BURNIN' UP OUR TIME!"

"But I don't have a watch." Marta retorted.

"I DON'T CARE! FORTY FOR BACK TALK, MISSY."

Blanche rolled herself around in circles and screamed. She thought Jane would be the only cuckoo she'd encounter in life (other than the cuckoo clock in the house, of course).

Chapter 6:
So Why'd We Come Here, Again?

Dr. Einstein contineud to work on Captain Von Trapp. The Captain was out cold, probably from hitting his head hard against the black marble floor. There was a lot of confusion...why would all these people come together in a small black box via atmospheric cracking?

"STAND AT ATTENTION, PRIVATE!" Maria barked at Judy, who was leaning against the wall tiredly.

"Huh?"

"NO BACKTALK, FOSTER!"

It was apparent that after some mental breakdown or illness that Maria had taken on the role of an army general or sergeant. Maybe it was the moldy Swiss cheese she often ate, but the kids all agreed it was probably altitude sickness and too much time spinning in the mountains.

Pat Hunter, a news reporter, thought it'd be a good idea to investigate the area and see if there was anything important. Sure enough, there was a note on black paper that blended into the floor perfectly.

"Guys, over here! I found a note!" she exclaimed.

Everyone came over and stood around her.

"It says 'Dear those of you who were teleported here, you were teleported here because there is trouble in 21st Century America. We need your help to stop all kinds of evil criminals and villain Kyle Cinnabuns. Please help! - Wilbert Morguson of the North West Eastern Hamster Commitee'."

"We need to form a team, I think." suggested Liesl.

"I'm up for individuals." responded Janice Starlin.

"No. We can't do individuals. We'd be killed in seconds."

"A group sounds the best." Mi replied. "Let's call ourselves the Avengers."

"We can't do that! That's already taken."

"You've got to be joking."

"Nope."

Carol said nothing. She didn't want to deal with this. She just wanted to go home to Santa Barbara with Ogie and Judy - BAD.

"What about the Revengers? The Indengers?"

"Indengers isn't even a word."

"The Dependers!" exclaimed Blanche.

"That's perfect!" Liesl replied.

And so it began. The Dependers were formed. A team of people that had never known each other prior to this moment.

"Do we need cheesy superhero names?" asked Judy.

"Um...I guess we could...just for the fun of it."

"Maybe later."

Maria orderered everyone to look for a secret door to lead them out of the black room. A sudden crack from the ceiling provided new arrivals - Dorothy, Toto, Scarecrow, Tinman, and the Cowardly Lion. It seemed to trigger a high-powered flash of light, and, for a split second, gave off the location to the exit hatch. Dr. Lorenz, a mad doctor, rushed over to it and unlocked the hatch. They were in the 21st Century, alright...it was 2012. Everyone was confused. What was going to happen!?



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