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Friday, October 5, 2012

Lord of the Rings Fan Fiction: Weird Frodo #1 - Frodo Goes to the Pumpkin Patch

Frodo Goes to the Pumpkin Patch
A Fanfiction by WaverlyHillsFan
Non Canonical-Based Story

One crisply cold day in October, Frodo decided it was time to go to the nearest pumpkin patch and buy a pumpkin. He was going to prepare for Halloween as much as he could. Gandalf, his current roommate, had sewed a toad costume for the hobbit.

"Hey, hey Gandalf!" screeched Frodo. "Let's go get a pumpkin!"

Gandalf's eyes closed. He never expressed it, but he despised that little hobbit. Over the years, Frodo had grown very demanding and obnoxious, often getting his way over Gandalf's.

Meanwhile, Gollum, who had become quite a good friend of Frodo's, was at the local Halloween store buying candy. The clerk was just a regular human, and he often questioned the odd clients that came into the store (particularly Frodo). Gollum had placed several bags of Three Musketeers on the counter, and the clerk, Jack, rung them up. Upon exiting the store, Gollum called Frodo with his cell phone. The message machine received the call.

"Hello? Frodo? Gandalf? Where Frodo? Me gots the candy." Gollum said, leaving his message.

Gollum sped home by running as quick as he could. He rushed to the answering machine, as it beeped saying it had new messages.

"YOU HAVE THREE NEW MESSAGES AND TWO OLD MESSAGES." the machine said in its computer generated voice.

One message was from the local plummer, the second was the one from Gollum, and the third one was Frodo calling from wherever he was.

"Hi Gollum, kinda sorta forgot to tell you that Gandalf and I were going to Aragorn's Fine Halloween and Pumpkin Patch today." the message announced.

Gollum rushed to the garage, mounted his motorcycle, and sped towards the pumpkin patch.

At the pumpkin patch, Frodo had 200,000 pumpkins picked out. Gandalf wanted to sue Frodo for this stupid ritual, but he knew he'd break the little hobbit's heart.

"C'mon, Gandalf, just 800,00 more, please!"

"Alright." Gandalf snarled through his clenched teeth. "But just this time. Next year, it's only 220, understand?"


Gollum arrived, clearly frustrated that he wasn't informed on the trip. His arms were crossed, and he yanked Gandalf's beard angrily.

"I just wanted a few pumpkins." explained Frodo.

"A few? Looks likes you has 1,000,000 pumkins."

"It's true."

"I was exaggerating."

"Actually, you weren't...there are literally 1,000,000 pumpkins."

They wheeled all of the pumpkins over on a massive cart. Aragorn's eyes nearly popped out of his head when he saw the large amount of pumpkins.

"How much will it kill, I mean, cost me?" asked Gandalf.



"Yup. We've got this deal that if you buy 1,000,000 pumpkins or more, you get 'em all for $2.50. Oddly, you are the first to take us up on that."

They paid for the large amount of squash, called in trucks, and took them to the Baggins house. Carving began, and the lit jack-o-lanterns surrounded the house. A letter arrived saying:

Hello, Frodo

I'm going to an untitled planet. It's filled with Orcs and such, and they surround a secret base. I fear that it'll be hard to contact you, so this is my final letter to you if I don't come back. Tell everyone you know to come and help.

- Legolas

"Sounds like Legolas is in trouble!" pronounced Frodo. "I need to sell some socks on eBay and email a few people."
To Be Continued...

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