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Featured Fanfictions

Weird Frodo

Frodo and the rest of the Lord of the Rings characters take weird and make it wonderful. Read More >>

The Wasp Woman Gets Stung

The third chapter of Collisions may sting you. Read More >>

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Old Movie Fanfiction - Collisions: Chapter 9


Collisions

(aka 'WHAT GOES ON IN MY BRAIN!?')

Chapter 9:
Journey's End


Quick note from the author: This is some random story that combines a bunch of characters from old movies into one...and into modern times. Enjoy. Expect total randomness and complete lack of sense...just have fun. This is called 'Collisions' cause everything collides...

So here I present to you...

A Fanfiction by WaverlyHillsFan
Non Canonical-Based Story
Ok...sorry to leave you hangin' there. I know its been a while since I added a chapter...wuz writin' then it got late (like 11:30 PM late). So, rather than accidentally killing off all the characters in my mentally/physically tired state, I slept. Anyways......yeah....here you go....

Things were getting serious now. With Kyle conquering the city, and the Dependers unsure of what to do...yeah...let's just say things weren't good. Judy looked in dismay. Things were confusing (but that might just be this story, so let's not worry about that too much). Carol was still trying to figure out why it felt like she knew Velvet almost all her life. Things weren't looking good for Captain von Trapp, either.

It was decided that the team would surround the area that had just been blown up. Somewhere, Kylebuns would emerge...wherever he was at the moment. Judy looked at the Captain. His eyelids began to twitch a little, then slowly opened.

"GUYS! THE CAPTAIN'S EYES ARE OPENING!" she yelled.

"Sheesh...don't yell in my ear! What's with you?" Velvet complained.

There were no further comments. Everyone gathered around the stretcher with the recovering Captain.

"Uhh....whahappen? Lucy! WE HAVE COMPANY!" the Captain's first words were.

"Oh, wonderful..he thinks he's Ricky Ricardo." commented Blanche Hudson.

"Ricky who?" asked Judy.

"Oh thats right...you're from a different generation."

"I'm not." responded the Wasp Woman. "There are a lot of us that know who Ricky Ricardo is."

"Well be nice to those who don't know, jerk." retorted Mi.

"Wonderful...all we need is a fight in the middle of all this craziness." complained Dr. Lorenz, facepalming.

"I've got a new plan." suggested Mortimer Brewster. "We need to get a basecamp before we attack."

"That is a good idea. Let's go!"

With that, the team quickly evacuated to a park where they could be safe. Dr. Einstein, Dr. Morgan,  and Dr. Lorenz teamed up to become the medics to care for Captain Von Ricardo, I mean, Von Trapp. The others would just do whatever it was they needed to do. Velvet and Carol still looked at each other with suspicion.

After a couple hours of resting, talking, random arguing, and tending to the Captain, everyone seemed like they were ready to fight. The Captain was still convinced he was Ricky Ricardo...which wouldn't be bad for Maria, since she was already a bit insane herself. The kids, though, would have to get some help.

"Let's move out, guys!" suggested Mi.

Everyone got up, armed and ready, but where caught dead in their tracks when Kyle Cinnabuns decided to pay an uninvited visit.

"YOUR MENTAL CAPACITY HAS REACHED ITS PUMPKIN LEADER LIMIT, YOU EIGHT OF CLUBS!" he yelled.

"Hmm...for once there is someone who makes less sense than Maria..." commented Jane Hudson.

"YOU TAKE THAT BACK, PRIVATE! YOU HAVE JUST LOST ALL CHANCE OF GETTING CHRISTMAS OFF!"

Jane sighed. She was getting anxious because she was craving a drink. Pat Hunter grabbed herself a notepad and read it. That's about as irrelevant of a sentence as it gets, my friends. Dorothy handed Velvet a crossbow. She aimed it steadily at Kyle's head and let him have it. His expresssion was something like a freak's...but then again....he looked like that before it was shot.

"Nice one, Velvet." she commented.

"Thanks." she said as she lowered the crossbow.

"Is he dead?"

"Yeah."

"NO I'M NOT!" commented Kyle.

Everyone jumped on him and put a pair of handcuffs on him (yup, everyone had a pair of handcuffs...the dude was really chained up).

They all reported him to the cops, who took him into prison.

The team, though given the opportunity to disband and go home, stuck together.

THE END

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Old Movie Fanfiction: Collisions - Chapter 8


Collisions

(aka 'WHAT GOES ON IN MY BRAIN!?')

Chapter 8:
The Revenge of Cinnabuns


Quick note from the author: This is some random story that combines a bunch of characters from old movies into one...and into modern times. Enjoy. Expect total randomness and complete lack of sense...just have fun. This is called 'Collisions' cause everything collides...

So here I present to you...

A Fanfiction by WaverlyHillsFan
Non Canonical-Based Story
Things were getting serious now. With Kyle conquering the city, and the Dependers unsure of what to do...yeah...let's just say things weren't good. Judy looked in dismay. Things were confusing (but that might just be this story, so let's not worry about that too much).

"Cinnabuns is out there!" Blanche shouted.

"Yeah, we all know, Blanche. That's why we were all teleported here." replied Jane.

The team divided as planned into their special positions. Blanche, machine gun in a decent position, and Jane, armed with a sheath with a machete attached, were absolutely ready. They would provide a large amount of cover fire for the time being. The Brewster Seven took their places, with Janice Starlin flying above. Everyone else followed behind, with exception of Robert, the loner. This battle was gonna go down big.

"HUP! NOW MARCH! HUP! MARCH! HUP..." Maria commanded.

"Could somebody get her some help?" requested the Wasp Woman.

"Only the Captain can..." started Marta. "And he's passed out."

It was true. The Captain was riding on the Pie with Velvet. Carol and Judy were near by.

Another large explosion ripped across the area. It was Kyle Cinnabuns, destroying another part of the city.

WHAT WAS GONNA HAPPEN!? WHY WAS THIS CHAPTER SO SHORT!? IS THAT A GOOD THING OR A BAD THING!? IS THIS CAUSING ME TO LOSE MY FOLLOWERS?! WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY BRAIN AT 9:59 PM? NEVER MIND.
 
To be continued...

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Old Movie Fanfiction - Collisions: Chapter 7


Collisions

(aka 'WHAT GOES ON IN MY BRAIN!?')

Chapter 7:
DEPENDERS UNITE!


Quick note from the author: This is some random story that combines a bunch of characters from old movies into one...and into modern times. Enjoy. Expect total randomness and complete lack of sense...just have fun. This is called 'Collisions' cause everything collides...

So here I present to you...

A Fanfiction by WaverlyHillsFan
Non Canonical-Based Story
The recently-formed group, the Dependers, looked overwhelmed in the 21st Century. Maria decided to act as if she didn't care.

"ALRIGHT, TROOPS, GET READY TO HEAD OUT! REMEMBER, WE'VE GOTTA FIND WILBERT MORGUSON! HE'S THE HEAD OF THE NORTH WEST EASTERN HAMSTER COMMITTEE!" she barked.

"Don't you think we should get a little more organized before we take on this Kyle Cinnabuns guy?" asked Ogie.

"PRINGLE, I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT...BUT YES...WE SHOULD!"

Wilbert Morguson - President of the North West
Eastern Hamster Committee
Pretty soon, they had formed a pretty decent sized plan. Baby Jane and Blanche would be paired together, and since Jane (since she was pushing the wheel chair) would be defenseless, Blanche would carry a hand-knife, a bag of grenades, and a machine gun.

The Brewster Seven, a subdivision of the Dependers, would provide a sweeping sort of attack. They would form a "C" shaped wall in front of the the others, meanwhile pumping a good amount of ammo into Cinnabuns' forces.

Janice Starlin would transform into a wasp (she was now in control of when she did it, and was conscious of her actions during the time as a wasp) and provide some spy intelligence.

Velvet, who would be on the back of the Pie, and Carol, Judy, Mi, and everyone else would provide standard fighting. Robert Morgan would go off on his own...it was what he was used to, formerly being the last man on earth.

The 'troops' all marched towards a building with a sign that said 'The North West Eastern Hamster Committee'. They all entered, and the receptionist's eyes were large from the shock of seeing so many people that seemed to have no relevance to one another.

"Hello. What are you guys here for?" she asked.

"We're here to see Mr. Morguson. We're the Dependers."

"Oh. He's in the meeting room. Go ahead up the stairs to the room with the table. Morguson is in a meeting, but he likes the awkwardness of people interupting meetings...oh, and that horse has to stay in the lobby. There's a new rule about horses not being allowed to go up to the second floor."

Velvet was upset by this, but she obeyed it. Everyone, as told by the receptionist, marched up the stairs and into the meeting room to see Mr. Morguson. There were several people there.

"Why you must be the Dependers!" yelled Morguson from the opposite end of the room.

"Yup." replied Ogie.

"PRINGLE, YOU LET YOUR COMMANDING OFFICER DO THE TALKING! YOU WANNA STAY IN THE ARMY, PRINGLE!? I SUGGEST YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND LET ME DO THE WORK, PRIVATE!"

Already, Maria was getting on Ogie's nerves.

"Dependers, these are my coworkers, Andrew Nasalli, Marco Pinelli, Fred Bed, Hank Bottle, and Francine Depedofledod. Just be nice around Marco...his hamster committed suicide a few days ago...it wasn't pretty."

"Hamsters do that?" asked Mi.

"Yes they do...his hamster had a long and bad case of depression from his wife asking for a divorce."

"Who, Marco's?"

"No - the hamster's."

"Okay......"

"Anyways, Cinnabuns is trying to conquer most of the US by kidnapping all of its people that happen to be wearing green. It's depressing...and I don't even know why this is connected to the NWEHC...I mean, we deal with hamsters...not crimes...but then again, that's why we need you...you deal with crimes."

"Actually, we have no training in crime stopping of any kind." commented Liesl.

"VON TRAPP YOU NEVER ADMIT YOUR STRATEGY TO A POSSIBLE BREAD LOAF."

"WHAT!?"

"Ignore that..."

"Anyways, we might as well let you know that Cinnabuns is not as weak as he may seem...he wears his pantalones with flair...that's tough."

"Say whoosa whatsa?" asked Blanche.

"PANTALONES! NOW GO GET HIM!"

A sudden explosion ripped through the city. It was Cinnabuns kidnapping everyone wearing green shopping at GameStop. He had blown up the rest of the building.

To be continued...

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Old Movie Fanfiction - Collisions: Chapter 6


Collisions

(aka 'WHAT GOES ON IN MY BRAIN!?')

Chapter 6:
So Why'd We Come Here, Again?


Quick note from the author: This is some random story that combines a bunch of characters from old movies into one...and into modern times. Enjoy. Expect total randomness and complete lack of sense...just have fun. This is called 'Collisions' cause everything collides...

So here I present to you...

A Fanfiction by WaverlyHillsFan
Non Canonical-Based Story
Dr. Einstein contineud to work on Captain Von Trapp. The Captain was out cold, probably from hitting his head hard against the black marble floor. There was a lot of confusion...why would all these people come together in a small black box via atmospheric cracking?

"STAND AT ATTENTION, PRIVATE!" Maria barked at Judy, who was leaning against the wall tiredly.

"Huh?"

"NO BACKTALK, FOSTER!"

It was apparent that after some mental breakdown or illness that Maria had taken on the role of an army general or sergeant. Maybe it was the moldy Swiss cheese she often ate, but the kids all agreed it was probably altitude sickness and too much time spinning in the mountains.

Pat Hunter, a news reporter, thought it'd be a good idea to investigate the area and see if there was anything important. Sure enough, there was a note on black paper that blended into the floor perfectly.

"Guys, over here! I found a note!" she exclaimed.

Everyone came over and stood around her.

"It says 'Dear those of you who were teleported here, you were teleported here because there is trouble in 21st Century America. We need your help to stop all kinds of evil criminals and villain Kyle Cinnabuns. Please help! - Wilbert Morguson of the North West Eastern Hamster Commitee'."

"We need to form a team, I think." suggested Liesl.

"I'm up for individuals." responded Janice Starlin.

"No. We can't do individuals. We'd be killed in seconds."

"A group sounds the best." Mi replied. "Let's call ourselves the Avengers."

"We can't do that! That's already taken."

"You've got to be joking."

"Nope."

Carol said nothing. She didn't want to deal with this. She just wanted to go home to Santa Barbara with Ogie and Judy - BAD.

"What about the Revengers? The Indengers?"

"Indengers isn't even a word."

"The Dependers!" exclaimed Blanche.

"That's perfect!" Liesl replied.

And so it began. The Dependers were formed. A team of people that had never known each other prior to this moment.

"Do we need cheesy superhero names?" asked Judy.

"Um...I guess we could...just for the fun of it."

"Maybe later."

Maria orderered everyone to look for a secret door to lead them out of the black room. A sudden crack from the ceiling provided new arrivals - Dorothy, Toto, Scarecrow, Tinman, and the Cowardly Lion. It seemed to trigger a high-powered flash of light, and, for a split second, gave off the location to the exit hatch. Dr. Lorenz, a mad doctor, rushed over to it and unlocked the hatch. They were in the 21st Century, alright...it was 2012. Everyone was confused. What was going to happen!?

To be continued...

Monday, October 8, 2012

Old Movie Fanfiction - Collisions: Chapter 5


Collisions

(aka 'WHAT GOES ON IN MY BRAIN!?')

Chapter 5:
Unity


Quick note from the author: This is some random story that combines a bunch of characters from old movies into one...and into modern times. Enjoy. Expect total randomness and complete lack of sense...just have fun. This is called 'Collisions' cause everything collides...

So here I present to you...

A Fanfiction by WaverlyHillsFan
Non Canonical-Based Story
The dark room was almost entirely silent, with exception of the occasional atmospheric crack that let others in. Jane and Blanche were still trying to figure things out. Jane was clearly tired, her eyes going from half open to shut, half open to shut on and on. The silhouette of a man with what appeared to be a man was cast onto the wall adjacent to Blanche.

He came closer and closer, walking in what sounded to be heel to toe. Eventually, his face came into clear site. It was Dr. Robert Morgan, who was supposedly the last man on Earth (not now, anyways...prior to when he got warped).

"Where's Virg?" he asked in his deep sort of voice.

"Say whoosa whatsa?" asked Blanche.

"My wife, Virginia. I call her Virg. I was hoping that through this whole teleportation thing that I'd find her. I guess not."

"What happened to her?"

"She died of a virus."

"Oh."

Meanwhile, in another corner, Mortimer Brewster and his wife, Elaine, were confused as to what happened. Judy Foster, who had lived in Santa Barbara, California, was also in that corner. Velvet and Mi had also crash-landed there.

It seemed that Judy Foster had collided with Mi upon landing after being sucked through the vortex. She was hurt a little, but not bad.

She looked at her best friends, Ogie and Carol Pringle. Ogie was quiet. He didn't want to talk about what had just happened - probably just hoping it was just a bad dream.

"What the heck!? Look at that girl!" exclaimed Judy, pointing at Velvet.

Carol was in shock at Velvet. She approached her, mouth agape. It looked as if she had seen some kind of ghost.

"You look so familiar...do I know you!?"

"Nope."

"Are you sure!?"

"Yes...but you do look extremely familiar."

An atmospheric crack, as usual, ripped through the room. This time, the entire Von Trapp family came falling through the dark hole.

"...sixteen going on seventeen...WHAT THE..." cried Liesl.

It seemed as though the teleportation was relatively quick, as the Von Trapp family was caught in the middle of song...as usual. Maria, for whatever reason, had a machine gun in her hands, probably stolen from a Nazi officer.

"AGAINST THE WALL WITH YOUR HANDS UP!" she shouted.

Everyone did as ordered. What had happened since they left Austria? Bad Swiss cheese? Too much time spinning in the mountains? Altitude sickness? Whatever it was, Maria had gone entirely crazy. A "loony tune" quote Kurt.

Ogie interfered with Maria, grabbing her shoulder tightly. He had a frown on his face.

"What's wrong with you, woman!?" he snapped.

"YOU GIVE YOUR COMMANDING OFFICER A COOKIE!" she barked back.

Liesl was busy tending to her father, who seemed to have suffered from a concussion.

"MEDIC!" called out Maria.

Dr. Einstein came forward. He had known Mortimer Brewster and his brother, Jonathan, quite well.

"I'm a doctor."

"GET OVER HERE! YOU DON'T TALK BACK TO YOUR SUPERIORS!"

The doctor had dealt with a lot of crazies...mainly Teddy Brewster, who thought he was Teddy Roosevelt.

Pretty soon, this attracted the attention of everyone in the room. Janice Starlin came over to take a look.

"He doesn't look so good." said Robert.

"He broke his nose!" commented Blanche.

"The guy had a concussion!" screamed Judy.

"Will he be alright?" asked Velvet.

"SHUT UP AND LET THE DOCTOR DO HIS BUSINESS!" responded Dr. Einstein.

"YOU HEARD THE MAN! GET AWAY! TWENTY PUSH UPS EACH OF YOU! I MEAN IT! GO! GO! GO! WE'RE BURNIN' UP OUR TIME!"

"But I don't have a watch." Marta retorted.

"I DON'T CARE! FORTY FOR BACK TALK, MISSY."

Blanche rolled herself around in circles and screamed. She thought Jane would be the only cuckoo she'd encounter in life (other than the cuckoo clock in the house, of course).


To be continued...

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Old Movie Fanfiction - Collisions: Chapter 4


Collisions

(aka 'WHAT GOES ON IN MY BRAIN!?')

Chapter 4:
Velvet Gets Vaporized


Quick note from the author: This is some random story that combines a bunch of characters from old movies into one...and into modern times. Enjoy. Expect total randomness and complete lack of sense...just have fun. This is called 'Collisions' cause everything collides...

So here I present to you...

A Fanfiction by WaverlyHillsFan
Non Canonical-Based Story
It was just a week ago now that the Pie had run the Grand National. Mi had decided to return, as many of the other houses that he visited weren't nearly as nice as the Brown home. Many horse owners had offered Velvet a lot of money to ride their horses in races, but she said 'no' to all of them. She only wanted to ride the Pie for herself and her family, not someone else's horse.

Movie directors were really getting on her nerves, too. They all wanted to swoop up the chance to have a movie about a young girl who had won the Grand National, excluding all the technicalities in the rules.

"Mi!?" called out Velvet.

"What is it, Velvet!?" he returned.

"Come here! There's some kind of green mist in the corner!"

"Mist? What are you talking about...oh, wow..." he said, soon realizing that there was actually mist in the corner of the stables.

Mi stuck his hand in the mist, but when he pulled his arm back, his hand turned to water and was sucked into the mist.

"WHAT'S HAPPENING, MI!?" Velvet cried.

"I don't know! My hand just vaporized!"

Velvet then stuck her foot into the mist. It, too, turned to water and went towards the mist as if it were magnetised to it. The signature loud atmospheric cracking was heard, and the whole town of Sewels was eaten by the mist. During the travel to the dark room, everyone was vaporized, but reformed upon landing. What was going on!?


To be continued...

Old Movie Fanfiction - Collisions: Chapter 3


Collisions

(aka 'WHAT GOES ON IN MY BRAIN!?')

Chapter 3:
The Wasp Woman Gets Stung


Quick note from the author: This is some random story that combines a bunch of characters from old movies into one...and into modern times. Enjoy. Expect total randomness and complete lack of sense...just have fun. This is called 'Collisions' cause everything collides...

So here I present to you...

A Fanfiction by WaverlyHillsFan
Non Canonical-Based Story
Janice Starlin, aka the Wasp Woman, had just recently recovered from what was thought to be her death. She had, in fact, survived...but she was injured. The Wasp Woman was still a woman by day and a wasp by night, killing her fictims in an uncontrollable rage.

For a long time, Janice had owned a cosmetics company, but sales were dropping ever since she started aging. That's when things went wrong - she had tried using the enzymes of a wasp to make her look younger...but instead she turned into a wasp.

Now, things were under control. She was on medication to help keep things under control. On her way to the lab, she noticed that a new lab technician, James Freidly, was experimenting with some kind of anti-aging serum.

"Hello, James."

"Oh, hi, Janice."

"What is that?"

"I'm working on a new anti-aging medication. You know, one to replace that last one that went bad."

"I'm willing to try it."

"But Janice...don't you even worry that something bad might happen!?"

"Shut your mouth and give it to me. If I can survive being a wasp, I can survive anything."

"If that's what you wanna believe..."

James gave her all of the fluid in the syringe. Slowly, Janice shed years right off, looking years younger. However, she started to shrink. Eventually, she was completely gone - warped into another area. Things were getting serious.

To be continued...